Well, I've been delaying writing about what's been going on with James for the past week and 1/2. And that must be because I'm feeling a little bit guilty, or maybe insecure about my decision. But then again, I wouldn't have acted the way I did if I didn't think it was for the best.
So, with that weighty introduction, here's the story.
James has been sleeping "through the night" since mid May, so for two months now. What I mean by that is that he has been eating his last meal at 7:30 or so and sleeping from 8 p.m. until about 7 am. Give or take a little. But he was waking up on average twice a night and needed me to put his pacifier (binky:) back in his mouth for him to get back to sleep. He always went right back to sleep. He was in our room in a pack 'n play until we got here to my parents house, he's in his own room, so I have to get up and out of bed to get to him. Also, he was dependent on being swaddled (as well as sucking on a binky) to get to sleep. But he was consistently getting his arms free and waking himself up that way as well as losing the binky.
So I made the executive decision (since I'm a CEO of the family:) that he should be weaned of the binky and swaddling. We did this same thing with Naomi at 6 months and she adjusted really quickly and we never looked back. She has been a great night time sleeper since.
Last Monday, a week and a half ago I put James to bed after feeding him the last time. He was sleepy but awake and I didn't swaddle him or give him a pacifier. I think that if he can't have a binky, he needs access to his hands.
He cried for almost an hour. Not hysterical, but sometimes very sad.... I went and comforted him twice and he was out for good after about 45-50 minutes. He woke up again at 3 am and cried for another 45 minutes and then slept until 7. That was night one.
Night two he took about 20 minutes to get to sleep and woke up twice, taking 20-30 minutes each time to get back to sleep.
Night three he went to sleep after about 15-20 minutes and slept until 5 am and had a very hard time going back to sleep.
Then he got the hang of it. He started going to sleep with 5 minutes or less or no crying at bedtime (and naps). He only woke up at about 3 am or so and just talked back to sleep.
The last two nights he hasn't woken at all until about 6:45-7 a.m. to be up for the day!!!
So success! Crossing my fingers here that he sticks to it.
I felt so sad the first few days and nights. I was used to him not crying ever, seriously ever. But he's just as happy, if not more so. He's sleeping all night and so am I!
Naps have been a little bit of a struggle. He has a tendency to wake up 45 minutes into a nap, which for Naomi when she was this age, was as long as she would ever nap. But James wakes up and is so tired still. So I often will go and comfort him and try to get him back to sleep. Most of the time it works.
He's napping about 3 times a day. Morning and afternoon naps that are about 1 1/2 to 2 hours and then a cat nap in the late afternoon to tide him over until bed time.
I'm hoping he can continue to do so well at night as we travel to Lake Powell next week and then transition back to our apartment in DC. I'm really hoping to be able to put Naomi and James together in her bedroom. Right now they have the same bed time, about 8 p.m. and wake up within 20-30 minutes of each other, you never know who's going to get up first:)
So. Mean mom or good mom. I feel a little mean for not waiting until he was ready to just stop waking up at night on his own, but I have plenty of friends who's children don't do that until age two.... and then I also feel like a good mom because now he sleeps all night with uninterrupted sleep, so he's more rested- I feel better when I sleep all night, I'm sure he does too. And then there's the selfish part. I obviously did this for my benefit, but I am a better mom when I am well rested. I have more patience and energy.
So there you have it. James is now sleeping through the night. And I am really happy about it!
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11 comments:
Good Mom for sure! Don't feel guilty at all! We sleep trained Charlie at 5 months and took away the binky and swaddle at the same time as well. Things are still going great with him. I agree that he's way happier. It's much better for all of us involved. Plus you know he's capable of sleeping through the night. It would be mean if he was starving and you just wouldn't feed him but waking up because he wants a pacifier is not the same thing - it just means that he doesn't know how to self-soothe. So now that he does it's better for him and you. So that ended up being very lengthy - sorry, I just want you to know that you're a GOOD MOM!!!
TOTALLY GOOD MOM! Hello, I am a BAD mom. Jack is 2 1/2 and still uses a pacifier. I could never bring myself to take it away. I am promising myself that I will take it away ASAP with the next one! WAY GOOD MOM!
Trisha you are an excellent mom! I think I would do the same, but I understand how you might feel like you are being mean, but it's better for him in the long run! So GOOD job!!
good mom, good mom, good mom....sometimes its tough to be a good mom, but sleep is a scientifically proven NEED for proper health (and function). I did the same thing with bailey, and i'll do it again...way to be strong trish!
I think you are a great mom. When Ben and I have another child I think I will try to do the same thing. It is not selfish, I also am more pleasant when I am well rested.
GOOD MOM! I did the same thing with Jane and she is the most easy going and content child because of it. She sleeps really well and is always quite pleasant. I didn't do any of the crying it out with Kate and it has been a constant power struggle with her. She expects to get her way ALL THE TIME and I attribute this to me coddling her all the time and not being on the ball with letting her cry it out! Believe me letting a child cry it out is much easier when they are an infant than a toddler!
Again I say... GOOD MOM!
Oh, you are a great mom! and a lucky one! Taelor is not even close to being ready to sleep through the night. She still gets quite hungry at least 2 times during the night. If he only needed help going to sleep with his binky he was definietely ready to be sleep trained. I can't wait for Taelor to be ready for that! It is true what you said that your a better mom when you get a full night of sleep. I can't wait to get to that point.
You are a fantastic mom! I totally wish that I would have dumped Ethan's binkie at 6 months instead of waiting until 17 months cause he got soo attatched! Ethan didn't start sleeping through the night until I got rid of the binkie cause he would cry if it was out of his mouth! Way to tough it out! I know, listening to your baby's cry is tough stuff, but it pays out in the end!
Good job, Mommy. You made a great decision and obviously he has benefited from it, as well as you. I'm so glad that he's sleeping so well for you. Seriously, it seems like yesterday that I got the call from Zack, with a brand new crying James in the background, saying he had been born. Time really flies.
I think you are so awesome! Super Mommy is more like it! I feel like the sooner you can get rid of that binkie the better! Enjoy your nights!
definitely good mom. My kids are thumb suckers, and you can't take those away. You have succeeded. I'm glad he's sleeping good for you. By the way you look like a babe in that pic below of you and Zac. What a HOT mommy!
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